Grinch or Gratitude?

Written by: John Wilson, Group Therapy Services Director

Dec 6th, 2023

Grinch or Gratitude?

Yep, it is that time of year again, the festive period is a time for reflection about what could be but also what has been.

A culture that has been developed throughout the years of the nuclear family unit celebrating Christmas round the tree with presents galore scattered on the floor and mum and dad smiling from ear to ear wearing their Christmas jumpers whilst their young son and daughter play merrily with their toys has been the landscape of many a TV advertisement. There seems to be a pressure to conform with and expect to enjoy and celebrate Christmas, but at what cost?

For many people who have managed to break the destructive cycle of addiction, Christmas can bring up many ill feelings of perhaps shame and guilt about how Christmases of the past have been “ruined” by their addiction and behaviour. Addiction does not discriminate and addiction does not stop because it is Christmas so for the families of addicts and alcoholics, this time of the year can be one that is filled with sadness, fear and resentment.

Christmas historically is associated with parties, drinking, merriment and over indulgence. Temptation is always around the corner and more so at Christmas so whether people are struggling with addiction or not Christmas can be a stressful time.

Managing expectations can be really helpful to reduce the anxiety around Christmas time, communicating with family, friends and recovering people can help to set boundaries and help people to understand how you are feeling and what your intentions are.

Having a plan to keep yourself safe is a must if your intention is to remain in recovery. Talk your plan through with like-minded people such as a sponsor or fellowship friends as they will understand what you are trying to do.

Have a plan B. If you are invited to a party or a social occasion, plan to phone a friend before you go and after and remember that you can leave at any point.

Gratitude. Gratitude lists, are important to put things into perspective, Christmas can be a time of reflecting on what has been lost or what we have not got. Writing a gratitude list and then sharing that with a friend helps to put our thinking into perspective. Alcoholics and addicts are much more likely to be tempted to drink or use if we carry around those feelings that create negative emotions or responses.

Isolation. Feeling or being on your own can be difficult and this is much more highlighted at Christmas time. The good news is that there are ways to help to connect with people and you don’t need to be on your own.  Plan to attend fellowship meetings, make sure that you have a list of when and where meetings are held. Use video calling or phone calls to connect to people. Making connection and communicating with other people will help to reduce isolation.

It is just one day at a time. Christmas day lasts for 24 hours and is just another day, recovery based fellowships promote “One day at a time” and this can help to not forward think too much but to take action in the moment instead of fearing the future which can create overwhelm.

You don’t have to be the Grinch this Christmas time instead you can learn to enjoy yourself and your recovery in a healthy way and by doing this your family and loved ones will enjoy theirs!

John Wilson – Group Therapy Services Director